Evaluation time

Looks like I'm gonna be switching from hourly wages to a salary pretty soon, probably at the end of the month. This will be my first salary experience. No more having to save up to compensate for lost wages during a vacation. No more punching the clock on my way in and out. No more having to adjust my hours in response to a missed or extended lunch break. It’d be pretty cool if it was gonna last past September.
On the plus side, the switch will come with a raise.
It’s been almost 1.5 years since the last one. And thanx to the little prick who used to manage the place, (and I mean little… Napoleon complex radiated from his towering 5’5” frame), that raise was only 19% of the figure that was requested from him by my boss. The whole office staff suffered that time around, the average raise was about 35 cents. The little prick however, thanx to his efficient spending, was promoted to Regional manager. Then a few months later, to VP of Canadian Operations. His VP job required that he move back to Quebec and into an office at headquarters. We didn’t miss him. Well I heard that he wasn’t enjoying himself at the big office… after all, what good is a 200k+ salary when you’re not the biggest fish in the pond anymore? The little prick has recently quit the company and moved on.
OK. Rant finished.
I have to fill out a “Work performance self evaluation” form for my boss. It’s multiple choice, with “A: Exceptional” through to “E: Improvement needed” for each of a couple dozen questions. This must be what going to salary is all about; they wanna know what I think about my own attitude, where I see myself going in the company, and if my employees trust and respect me. There’s a second column next to each question, for my boss to insert his A – E opinion of my performance for each question. That way I can compare the answers on a bar graph and see if I’m overly modest or suffer from delusions of grandeur. My original plan was to make a photocopy of this test, then fill it out twice. One with my honest answers, and the other with the extreme polar opposites for each. I’d give my boss the fake one first and have a laugh before presenting the original…. Unfortunately, he’s already written on it with blue ink, so he’d probably catch on a little too quickly, but maybe I’ll do it anyways.
A sense of humor is always a good thing to “bring to the table”.