No more McDonalds, ever

Saturday night was spent drinking lots of beer and eating lots of pizza. I passed out on the couch where I awoke at 0520 the next morning. After a couple hours spent unpacking some household items and setting up the comp, I drove up to the old house to hook up with the new tenants (my co-worker and her boyfriend) and gave them a guided tour of the workings of the house and the 3-ton truck. On the way back down I swung through the McDs drivethrough for some breakfast.
I’ve never been a big fan of McDonalds, their burgers pretty tasteless, but I do admit to a fondness for their breakfast bagels.
Anyways, I’m at the order window, where you talk to a girl in person now, and notice a special on the board: “With any breakfast item you can add two hashbrowns and a coffee for just $0.70.” Sounds like a good deal to me, except that coffee goes through me like a laser beam. So I ask the girl, “Can I switch the coffee for a green tea and still get the deal?” “Sure” she says, “no problem”. Cool. I pull around the corner and wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Almost 10 minutes pass before the minivan and pickup in front of me suddenly move off together. Now waiting at the window for me to pull up is a too-skinny 17 year old goth girl. She hands me my tea, I say thanx, and she just gives a little head flick that looked unlike a nod, but more like a nose up / eye roll gesture. I notice that my tea package says Orange Pekoe, and not Green. When she returns with the bagel I ask if I can trade it for the green that I ordered. “That’s the only tea we got.” Was her annoyed reply. Great, thanks again. I get home and sit down, steep the nasty Orange Pekoe, and eat a hashbrown patty. Then reach for the second and find… bagel. No second hashbrown. Oh well, moving on. Three bites into my bagel I stopped and pointed the bitten end at my brother, saying “what do you suppose that is?” Inside, coating a portion of each of its 3 or 4 layers of cheese and egg, is a bright silvery metallic paste. It almost looks like somebody got waaay to vigorous with a metal tool on their grill, and then somehow transferred those scrapings through the entire depth of my sandwich. I broke that chunk off and finished what was now just half a meal.
Long story short, the only thing that kept me returning to McDs from time-to-time, despite their bad rap and fattening sawdust food, was their breakfast menu. Now that experience has been well and truly disgusting as well, I can’t see myself going back.